It’s been nice to be back in the office for the latter half of June, and then in July I’ll conclude my sabbatical in Israel, studying at The Hartman Institute in Jerusalem.
While there, I have the honor of officiating my first wedding in Israel. The groom is Marita’s cousin, who is marrying an amazing woman who is a Jew from Germany who recently made Aliyah. They have already signed marriage paperwork in Europe, so the ceremony in Tel Aviv does not have to include the orthodox rabbanut.
Yesterday, the three of us met over Zoom for the final ‘pre-marriage’ counseling session. As we were settling into the conversation, I asked how they were doing, and how the war in Gaza (and unrest in the north with Hezbollah) was affecting the daily life of regular people…who are in school, going to work, and living their lives nine months after October 7th.
They shared that Israelis are used to holding two realities at the same time. On the one hand, they are going about their lives. On the other hand, there is a somberness that permeates every gathering, every chance interaction with a friend, and every social setting. Remember, in this tiny country, each family, or their neighbor, has someone who is actively serving in the military. Their news about the war is constant, and for them it is intensely personal.
They then asked how things are for American Jews here in the USA. I shared with them that there are some similarities …we are living our lives, but for most of us, the situation in Israel, and the antisemitism that we are dealing with in America, has tinted our time and is the subject of many social interactions.
Together, we verbalized that this tension that they feel: excited to soon be married, while living in a time fraught with real concerns and dangers, is addressed in the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony by the rabbis of old.
Every Jewish wedding has the prayer called the ‘sheva brachot’, or Seven Blessings. Usually, this is the part of the ceremony when the bride and groom are wrapped in a tallis, hold a kiddush cup, and together they receive the ancient, chanted words heard from generation to generation.
Each of the seven blessings in the sheva brachot recognizes something that our rabbis identified as making life worth living…when times are good, and when times are tough. And let’s face it, whether it is personal or national, rarely is it just one or the other.
What makes life worth living? The sheva brachot thank God for (in ascending order) the fruit of the vine, the creation of the world, the creation of human beings, the perpetuation of life, the blooming of the Jewish people (with children playing in the streets of Jerusalem), and the happiness of bride and groom under the huppah.
Life is not a fairy tale. And Israel (and America) is not Disney World. We cannot afford for any one of us to be passive observers in our own society. Our lives, and future Jewish generations depend on us.
And yet I take tremendous courage, and inspiration, from the long Jewish story, and how our religion helps us engage with both coping mechanisms and truth:
We can hold joy and sadness at the same time.
We can simultaneously be in the moment with hope and fear.
And even in a post October 7th world, with rockets coming into Israel from the South and the North, people will gather far and wide to celebrate, in Israel, with the bride and the groom.
Shabbat Shalom,
-Spike
