Skip the blanket apology on social media this year.
They’re on their way.
Inevitably a friend will post it. It reads like this: “To those I may have wronged, knowingly or unknowingly, I ask for your forgiveness. I am truly sorry. “
Every year, folks debate the merits of such posts around and during the High Holy Day season.
The origins of apologizing at this time of year can be found in Mishnah: “for transgressions of one human being against another, the Day of Atonement does not atone until they have made peace with one another” (Yoma 8:9). As such, we are reminded, especially around Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, to make peace in our strained relationships.
Friends, the public realm of social media is not the place for such apologies. Some will argue that perhaps posting on social media can open the door for someone to engage in the conversation, so why keep folks from such a starting point?
I hear you, but I take a different approach.
Our ability to fully understand the emotions, thoughts, and feelings of another is limited when interacting in typed print only. To truly engage in teshuva, in returning to the right path and mending a relationship, the best way to do this is face to face. The next best way would be via Zoom, and the next best way would be by phone. The ability to see or at least hear the tone and tenor of another person’s voice is paramount to engaging in the sacred act of Teshuvah.
If you’re nervous about getting started, I think it is totally fair to reach out via text: whether a text message, email, or direct message on social media. But once you have the individual’s attention, set a time to talk, IRL (in real life!).
May we all find the strength to engage in the process of teshuvah, and may we strengthen one another through our sacred work.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Rachael
