If you have a Facebook account, you are probably dumbstruck by the amount of #MeToo posts coming across your news feed. It is my hope that these posts will spark discussion, and ultimately, provoke change. As an early educator, and mother to a daughter and son, I have always believed that I can make a difference. In the context of #MeToo, that means respecting the physical person, understanding the power of my words, and teaching our little ones. Your body is sacred. It belongs to you. For young children, that means they get to decide if they want to be touched, even a hug, and should be asked first. Kisses, too. This applies to family, friends, teachers, everyone. No one kisses me without asking first, and if I say no, my answer is respected. A small child deserves the same. Language is powerful. The messages children hear shape who they believe they are and who they may later become. Spend one whole day noticing extrinsically focused, gender specific language. “You look so … [Read more...]
What’s All This Bowing About?
As a child I remember standing in services looking forward to the chance to bend my knees and bow. It was this exciting change of pace, a time for me to do what the adults were doing. As a teen, I remember seeing how some people bowed and others didn’t and I wondered what was going on — so I went to the rabbi with my question, “What’s all this bowing about?” Maybe you have wondered the same thing. Perhaps you’ve been standing in prayer and suddenly you notice people are bowing and so, you too bow! But you’ve always wondered, why do I bow here and not there? Sometimes it may even look like people are bowing more than others, so who’s doing it “right”? This question of “doing it right,” is an interesting one in prayer, especially in Reform Judaism, where we tend to focus much more on how it makes us feel and less on “is this exactly how we were prescribed and commanded to do it.” As has been codified in our law codes (like the Shulchan Aruch), there are in fact specific moments … [Read more...]
40 Years of Zionism in the Reform Movement
This is the year of 40. Already we have heard so much about the number 40 within the context of Temple Emanu-El, in the Torah, and in our rabbinic literature. 40 years ago this congregation established itself in Dunwoody, Georgia. Well, 40 years ago was also a seminal moment for the Reform movement. 40 years ago the leaders of the Reform movement came together to create an organization called the Association of Reform Zionist of America—ARZA. Wow! Radical! Can you believe they did that in the Reform Movement?! No, right? In 2017 it seems like one of the most unremarkable acts our movement could take. It seems just as humdrum as having an Israeli flag beside our American flag planted on our bimah. It would raise eyebrows were they not there, where in fact everything in the past 40 years flies in the face of what the Reform movement stood for at its inception. Just as we begin to discuss what it means to be a Reform Zionist 40 years after the creation of ARZA, nearly 70 years … [Read more...]
Why I Stay Seated
Rabbi Max, why do you stay in your seat when you’re not leading Mourner's Kaddish? In short, because I’m not in mourning. I am blessed with two parents and two sisters who are all alive and well (may each one live to 120). I stay seated because I know that a day will come when I will be called to stand as a mourner. At Temple Emanu-El we have a unique compromise—one that represents the very essence of Reform Jewish practice. We honor and respect those who are various stages of mourning by asking them to rise and remain standing so that our k’hillah kedosha, our sacred community, may recognize those who are in need of our love and support. After we call for the mourners in the first thirty days, those in the first eleven months, and those marking the yartzeit of a loved one, we invite anyone whose custom it is to rise to do so for Mourner's Kaddish. In this way we give the opportunity for the mourners to be recognized, and we respect the decision of many to support the mourners by … [Read more...]
Where is Your Kippah?
By now you may have noticed that I don’t wear a traditional kippah. You may have also noticed that I do wear a headband/headscarf or a hat. Sometimes the headscarves are small, dark, and hard to see, other times they are colorful, large, and elaborate. The custom of a kippah is just that, a minhag, a custom. There is no commandment in Torah to wear a head-covering, though you can find a Talmudic story about a young boy covering his head as a way to remind himself of God’s presence. Today, the kippah signals Jewish identity, and it remains, for some, a reminder of God’s presence in this world. Hundreds of years after the custom began for people to wear a head-covering in prayer, and later at all times, one of our Law Codes, the Shulchan Aruch (16th c.), codified that you should not walk bare-headed for more than a few meters! Okay, but what does it mean to cover our head? How much of our head should be covered? What’s the smallest thing you can wear, what’s the typical … [Read more...]
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