Rabbi Max, why do you stay in your seat when you’re not leading Mourner's Kaddish? In short, because I’m not in mourning. I am blessed with two parents and two sisters who are all alive and well (may each one live to 120). I stay seated because I know that a day will come when I will be called to stand as a mourner. At Temple Emanu-El we have a unique compromise—one that represents the very essence of Reform Jewish practice. We honor and respect those who are various stages of mourning by asking them to rise and remain standing so that our k’hillah kedosha, our sacred community, may recognize those who are in need of our love and support. After we call for the mourners in the first thirty days, those in the first eleven months, and those marking the yartzeit of a loved one, we invite anyone whose custom it is to rise to do so for Mourner's Kaddish. In this way we give the opportunity for the mourners to be recognized, and we respect the decision of many to support the mourners by … [Read more...]
Where is Your Kippah?
By now you may have noticed that I don’t wear a traditional kippah. You may have also noticed that I do wear a headband/headscarf or a hat. Sometimes the headscarves are small, dark, and hard to see, other times they are colorful, large, and elaborate. The custom of a kippah is just that, a minhag, a custom. There is no commandment in Torah to wear a head-covering, though you can find a Talmudic story about a young boy covering his head as a way to remind himself of God’s presence. Today, the kippah signals Jewish identity, and it remains, for some, a reminder of God’s presence in this world. Hundreds of years after the custom began for people to wear a head-covering in prayer, and later at all times, one of our Law Codes, the Shulchan Aruch (16th c.), codified that you should not walk bare-headed for more than a few meters! Okay, but what does it mean to cover our head? How much of our head should be covered? What’s the smallest thing you can wear, what’s the typical … [Read more...]
Facing Tragedy by Speaking Up
For weeks we have been dealing with tragedies wrought by nature. This week we have been forced to confront an even more gut wrenching horror, the senseless violence human beings can do to one another. As we still struggle to come to terms with the motives of the murderer, we should look to our tradition to provide context for how to confront incomprehensible destruction. The first and most accessible way to do this is in the words of, and actions of, communal prayer. Though the holiday of Sukkot is meant to be one of unbridled joy, we mix our current reality with the theme of the week to find that our confusion and sorrow is mixed with our gratitude for life and sustenance. This Shabbat we will come together for comfort, warmth, and community knowing that our prayers will not bring the victims back to life but that, perhaps, we will find solace in the embrace of the friends and family we have around us. The second way we try to understand the massacre in Las Vegas is by reading our … [Read more...]
The Most Precious Thing
Most years I tell our smallest congregants a Yom Kippur story that I love, called ‘The Most Precious Thing.’ In it, God sends an angel out into the world to find…the most precious thing. First, the angel comes back with a smile from a father holding his infant child. “Precious, but try again,” says God. Next, the angel comes back having witnessed a kindness of a child to an elder. “Precious, but try again,” says God. Finally, the angel witnesses a man’s remorse for the rift with his brother, and as he says “I’m truly sorry”, the angel catches one of his falling tears and brings it back to God. “Yes,” says God, “ ‘I’m sorry’” is the most precious thing because it helps heal wounds between brothers and sisters, parents and children, and brings peace into the world.” Take a bow, the end. (If you want to hear this story, with puppets, come to our super fun Yom Kippur kids’ service at 10:45a on Saturday. (Open and Free to the Community) The theme of “I’m sorry” is an essential … [Read more...]
The Mirror of Rosh Hashanah
On Rosh HaShanah we are tasked to look in the mirror, with eyes wide open, and to recognize the reality of what we see. Mirrors are strange things. Especially, when we look into them. Really look into them. On the surface, what you first see is merely a reflection of your appearance, but if you can hold your gaze, and look softly into your own eyes, the mirror will show you much, much more. If you let it, the mirror will show you a picture of yourself next to pictures of who you used to be. One from when you were a child. Another, is of you as a young adult, confident that you have a long life ahead of you. A 3rd image from a few years later. A 4th… All of them the ‘you’ of your past, each staring back at you in this moment, right now, this Rosh HaShanah day. Mirrors are strange things. Especially, when we look into them. Really look into them. If you let it, if you continue to face your reflection, you will see that you, in this moment, are much more than an … [Read more...]